Growing up
things are just not meant for everyone\
we all grow up thinking that dreams
come true if we just work hard enough.
that if we just apply ourselves, the path
will open out to us.\
that anything, anything under the sky,
can be achieved through sheer effort.
it wasnt true
it was never true.
things, in many ways, were already predecided.
Your social class.
your race.
your very genetic predispositions.
there was never an equal starting line.
growing up means letting go of other winding forks down the road.
to give up on childhood's dreams
and face the steel-iron torture machine.\
to accept that life is unfair.
that things dont happen for a reason.
that maybe tomorrow wont be a better day.
that you're just a cog in the machine.
that means you are irrelevant.\
your complaints.
your frustrations.
your tears.\
my scars wont ever fully fade.
the hysteresis of their existence still lingers on my face.
i wont be ever be truly free of the fact that they happened.\
things aren't fair.
no matter what i achieve,
no matter how far i go.
no matter what i become,
ill always be rabble from the muck.
rabble that will remain a target for the violence,
of my fellow human beings.
rabble that will remain a target of despisal and pity.
whether it be my class, gender or race.
ill always be a target.
im so done fighting.
im so done arguing.
im tired of the double standards.
im tired of the insults and derision.
i dont care any more.
it's just so hard to keep going.
all this, just to survive?
just to do what i want?
to make a life of myself that i'd want?